Women sleep with men because they believe there already is a relationship." If that's true, it's sort of amazing anyone gets together, but they do. Men Are Confused by Women's Definition(s) of "Controlling Behavior." On many of the dates I've had, women talk about the controlling behavior of former partners. Worse yet, the metric for what is controlling changes, so that something we did one day that was just right somehow is too controlling when we do the same thing two weeks later. I just know it's a problem that men cannot solve, and it might help you to be aware of our confusion.You appear to want decisive guys who can take charge and be assertive. Earlier on Huff/Post50: After what may be decades of commitment and teamwork in a marriage, couples often reach a point when they stop viewing sex as a necessity in a relationship now built upon the strong tenets of trust, friendship and love. After 25 years of success as an adult educator in corporate America, I realized that I had something new to teach. I’ve helped thousands of women all around the world write their grownup love story. Sharing my heart with this man is the greatest accomplishment of my life. And so grateful that you’re going to accept my help. I’m still smiling from reading this beautiful story of love and marriage. Or maybe they have no intention of ever committing to you? Actually, relationships built in their 40s, 50s and beyond are far more fulfilling than any they had in their earlier years.To find these good relationships, they have to be a different dater than they were in their earlier years.But if you've already made the determination that he's worth a date, see where it goes for a bit before passing judgment. I got this text before a date (which I then declined to go on): "If you don't have a substantial retirement in place or big income, we will not be a match." Other dates have said they are only interested in rich men. And one actually put forth the idea I should write her monthly checks. Just as men shouldn't talk about or expect sex too soon, women should appreciate that most of us -- male and female -- aren't on these dating sites solely for someone to hike with or take to the opera (some are, but not most.) When sex comes up, a frequent comment from women, is, "This isn't 1970. Yes, there are often wide differences between men and women in the emotional attachment created by sex.
Updates: 02/17/2015For most people, especially women, dating in their 40s or 50s is nowhere near as easy as when they are 25.This came mostly from what women had told me about their dates. And while I'm confident men over 50 are generally worse at dating than women of that age, I'm equally sure that both genders can learn as they navigate new relationship terrain. Mature women take much better care of themselves, as a rule, than mature men. Regardless, women's bodies -- whatever the age -- are the second most miraculous creations on the planet. If a guy criticizes your body, point him toward a mirror and move on. I've never understood the myths fostered by the makeup industry, but if you want to wear it, okay. When women say they don't want to settle, it never comes across sounding good. I have had dates where for two hours, I was not asked a single question or had an opportunity to talk for more than a moment or two. They left not knowing if I had children (I do) or parents! This goes for both genders, but women over 50 seem to want to size guys up right away in terms of their long term relationship potential.Though many of them had positive observations, a lot of what they had to say dealt with their male companions being self-centered, boring, arrogant, duplicitous, needy and/or unwilling to commit (sometimes, impossible as it sounds, at the same time). Just know that you look great to many of us older guys with it or without it. You Probably Want to "Have It All" and Are Not Willing to "Settle". (I did.) After decades of living, we all have a lot to convey, but it makes for a better date if listening is a mutual activity. You don't want to waste your time, I understand that. Money is probably not a great date topic even if it's really, really important to you! But it also isn't 1870, and if there is mutual attraction, at this stage of our lives, waiting a long time -- whatever that may be -- seems equally foolish.With the right strategies and a positive mind-set, you'll be ready to turn on your "actively dating" status.While there may not be a magic bullet to dating over 50, expect that it takes time and persistence to meet someone.